


not much room to live

by melonbutterfly



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con References, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-24
Updated: 2011-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-24 22:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/268635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney gets triggered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not much room to live

When it happens, it's completely out of the blue.

They're watching some kind of movie neither Rodney nor John have ever heard of before; one of the new guys brought it (the new guys always take a while to learn that you can barter instead of just giving out stuff for free, and of course they make use of that fact). It's team movie night, and they're in John's room. It's about the safest place and situation Rodney can imagine.

And then the woman on screen gets raped.

 _It's always women_ , he thinks clinically, staring at the moving limbs and shadows (he knows that's not true), and for a moment he's alright, her protests and pleads echoing in his ears, because it's not even graphic, it's not like they can even see anything, it's up for interpretation even though you had to be stupid not to get what's going on, and he can't look away, he can't, he can't-

He doesn't know when her screams become somebody else's ( _his_ ), when the hands on her wrists become hands on somebody else's ( _his_ ); everything becomes disjointed, and when he comes to he's crouched in a corner, knees pulled up as tight against his body as possible, hands covering his ears. He's dizzy, and he realises he's hyperventilating; he can't see anything, and so he closes his eyes and tries to gather his thoughts, to make himself calm down.

The world – _he_ – is shaking when he is calm enough to open his eyes, to uncover his ears, and he wraps his arms around his legs and puts his forehead on his knees.

 

"I do not understand," says Teyla, and she doesn't touch him. Apparently that was how he ended up in the corner; they tried to touch him when he started to freak out. Usually it's a good way to help him focus, but never in this. They haven't learned that yet. "If the people in Pegasus would produce these movies and they would show a culling, they would make sure everybody is warned before they start watching." She sounds frustrated, which for her pretty much means she's totally pissed off.

"Movies should come with warnings instead of just rating," John says. "Ratings aren't an indication for content like this." His voice is tight, but he made an impressive effort to reign his anger in after Rodney flinched involuntarily at his expression. Ronon isn't saying anything, and he isn't looking at Rodney, which he appreciates. He hates how Teyla and John are looking at him, sympathy and helpless anger on his part, which is a nice gesture, but anything but helpful. He doesn't know how to tell them to stop.

Rodney waves it away. "The world doesn't come with warnings either," he says, tired. There goes another night of sleep.

"But where it is possible, it should," Teyla says firmly. "I do not understand how someone can create something that is supposed to be enjoyable and then not make sure that those who will not be able to enjoy it will at least not get hurt."

Rodney just shrugs and thinks that he's going to check on some of Zelenka's math. He won't be able to concentrate enough to do anything really complicated, but tinkering with toys would leave his thoughts free to run away. Checking math isn't his job, but it's the perfect solution.

It takes him two days until he can let people touch him again without flinching away.


End file.
